Prize Fight?

I would try to lose on The Apprentice just so I didn't have to participate in "the reward." This week it was deep sea fishing; a few weeks ago it was playing hockey. This stuff doesn't come close to last year's incentives, which included shopping at Tiffany's. Hmm...maybe The Donald is on a budget this year.

Reruns Already?

Lost, Joey, Will & Grace, ER -- all reruns this week. What am I supposed to do to leave the cares and travails of the real world behind? I have even watched all my Gilmore Girls DVDs from Netflix. Sigh.

The Office Was Closed Tonight

I was disappointed "The Office" wasn't on tonight. I needed my weekly dose of doofus.

Boogie Shoes

When Lynette let it rip in the bar on Desperate Housewives tonight, she danced to "Boogie Shoes," the same song she did her little hoochi coochi number to on Sports Night many TV seasons ago.

Otherworldly

I got hooked on "Medium" last season -- both for the subject matter and for Patricia Arquette's understated approach. This week it struck me that (a) "Medium" is probably the only show in which so much of the plot development takes place in bed sans sex and (b) the real otherworldly thing about the show is the amount of crap Allison's husband puts up with and still sticks around.

An Open Letter to Katie Couric

Katie, you're no longer America's sweetheart. As you've become more powerful, you've also become a bit more strident. We viewers are picking up some tense vibes. But that personality that charmed Americans is still there -- you just need a little help coaxing it back out so it can work on your behalf. Here's my advice:

• You're short. Deal with it. Stop using it as an excuse for wearing those dangerously high heeled shoes. Your footwear alienates you from the average female viewer in the hinterlands, who wears sensible shoes.
• Learn how to deal with other people's scripting mistakes off-camera.
• Give the job of Room Mother to someone else. Relax. Don't worry so much about whether Matt or Al are going off-topic. Smile, be gracious, join in the fun. Let a producer be the nag.
  

Brownie Points

I am watching Martha Stewart's morning show. I can't help myself. Why does Martha insist on wearing brown clothes? Beige, taupe -- OK. Brown -- yuck.

Send Omarosa to Nice School

I've tried not to watch "The Surreal Life" on VH1 but it keeps sucking me in. Omarosa hasn't changed a bit since "The Apprentice." She says she's not as evil as she seems -- that it's all an act to position herself as "the greatest reality TV villain." Her mother must be so proud.

Boo-hoo

If they don't stop making me cry while I watch Ghost Whisperer, I will have to stop watching.